Q&A SMACKDOWN: HGTV’S Daniel Kucan vs. Mortise’s Mighty Maite
Dear Dan & Maitae,
Thanksgiving is looming and I’ve got in-laws, friends, friends of friends, family members, pets, and even an old college professor coming over for dinner, and we have no dining table (unless you countmy husband’s old bachelor pad card table with a crooked leg.) The table we love is a Mahogany dining table, but it’s an 8 week wait, or we can buy one we don’t love right off the floor. Help!
Signed: Run out of of time
Dear Run:
Maite’:Which is gonna last longer, the marriage or a good dining table? Seriously, I think we both know the answer. Tell everyone
that you have the flu and send them to Whole Foods for a little
precooked Tofurky goodness, and go buy the table of your dreams.
Love the Tofurky
Good design trumps true love any day of the week, in my book.
Daniel: Slow down there, Scrooge. I agree that you shouldn’t buy a dining table under duress; in a year, you’ll be glad you waited. But you can still have a fabulous dinner. Put a couple six foot folding tables together (40 bucks or so from Home Depot) and go buy a couple yards of way over-the-top fabric for a table cloth. No one will even notice that they’re eating on Masonite and tubular steel.
Maite’: Actually, that’s MY old trick that Daniel just stole, AS
USUAL!! You can get a really cool piece of fabric downtown (you’d need 5 yards or so) for about 3 bucks a yard.
Velvets, satins, tapestry chenilles, whatever, you’re just gonna throw it away afterwards; which means you can laugh in the face of spilled red wine and the cranberry sauce you threw at your husband when he told that one joke of his.
Daniel: For a very organic and Autumnal touch, get some of those mini pumpkin squash things, cut a slit in them lengthwise, and use them to hold up place cards. Printing them on parchment paper gets you extrapoints. Throw some red and brown fall leaves on top of the tablecloth, on the plates.
Maite: String some English Ivy through your wrought iron chandelier for an original, organic touch.
Daniel: Then just laugh and laugh when your cousin’s obnoxious baby spews applesauce all over everything…
Yuck.
November 30th, 2009 at 10:18 pm
Dear Daniel and Maite,
I have a question. I live in a downstair condo unit. It’s new building and we recently moved in. I was brushing my teeth at the bathroom sink when I heard someone, um “relieving themselves” in the bathroom above. It was as audible as if they were in the room with me. Is there anything I can do for more privacy? More insulation? Anything?
thank you,
Patience B.
Jacksonville Beach, FL